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Streaming song samples will be on this site soon.
email: [derekmoment] [at] [gmail] [dot] [com]
*** DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 - THE BAND ***
- Derek Moment - lead vocals, guitars, mandolin, bass, keyboards
- Justin Connor McDermott - keyboards, sax, woodwinds, vocals
- Ian Miller-Zane - drums, percussion, vocals
- Trevor McGeorge - lead guitars
- Nigel Sainte-Clements - bass, guitars, keyboards, vocals
- Brandonton Smalle - keyboards, guitars, vocals
- Tony LePegge - sax, woodwinds, keyboards, vocals
REVIEWS AND COMMENTARY
“Haunting, hypnotizing, melodic and ... DEEP! ... I'm simultaneously moved to tears and enraged by anger... Overjoyed and elated yet oddly sad. Deeply disturbed yet satisfied and gratified .... Or perhaps it's the Xanax. Not quite sure..."
~~~~~~~STUBFORD "STUBBY" PEEPS, PhD.
Editor, Incendiary Combustible Drummers Quarterly
From Spring 2014 Edition
"... Singer-Songwriter Derek Moment is substantive while not afraid of bland superficiality. My heart was moved; my insides were stirred; I was deeply moved. Never will I be the same, nor will be my pacemaker or bathroom plumbing. Bravo, Hip-Hip Hooray, and....Neato! Five Stars. An Absolute Classic. In summary, really rather....um... Quite Pleasant!”
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR VLAD IMPALERONI, Dr. Impaleroni is a Visiting Professor of Music History at UC Berkeley and holds the Stoker-Harker Chair of Brit-American Music History at University of Bucharest in Romania and is Editor of the quarterly journal "Compendium of Research in Applied Musicological Musicianship Interface Technology of Transylvania. He is also Publisher of Mother Folker Magazine.
From the Fall 2015 Edition of CRAMMITT Quarterly.
"Hello; my name is Marty DiBergi. I'm a filmmaker. I make a lot of commercials. That little dog that chases the covered wagon underneath the sink? That was mine. A few years ago, I heard a British-American band that for me redefined the words 'symphonic psychedelic folk rock.' I remember being knocked out by their... their melody ... their layered vocal harmonies ... their blending of acoustic, classic rock and orchestral instruments ... their exuberance and raw power ... and their punctuality. That band was Derek Moment and Moment7. But hey, enough of my yakkin'; whaddaya say? Let's boogie!"
~~~~~~~MARTY DiBERGI, rock documentary filmmaker.
From a March 15, 2015 YouTube video.
"You know, in this crazy music business, it's not easy avoiding random spontaneous drummer combustions and bizarre gardening accidents. Yet Derek Moment and Moment7 have always managed to walk that fine line between clever ... and stupid. For example, they took our blending of Mozart and Bach, fashioning it into their own unique 'Mach' style. And we love their never-to-be-released cover of our haunting and humourous love ballad 'Lick My Love Pump.' We are honoured to hear Derek say that his songwriting was inspired by our 'Smell The Glove' album and our legendary puppet show/county fair version of 'Jazz Odyssey.' Indeed, we recognize the flavours and colours of our influence at the centre of many of Derek's compositions. To conclude, we are pleased as punch to say to Derek Moment and Moment7: "Well done !!... Pip Pip!! ... and Huzzah!!"
~~~~~~~NIGEL TUFNEL, DAVID ST. HUBBINS, AND DEREK SMALLS of The Originals, The New Originals, Thamesmen and Spinal Tap. London, England, United Kingdom June 7, 2015
“DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 are considered by many music critics, most of whom are either band relatives, employees, vendors, or tone deaf... as potentially being one of the most melodic, prolific, and haunting artists to emerge from the 'post - Beatles / Beach Boys / British Invasion / Buffalo Springfield / Moody Blues / ELO / CSNY / Slim Whitman / Tiny Tim' era."
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR SPARKLAND ("SPARKY") FARQUARDT, PhD.
Former Chair of Dept. of Musicology, King's College, University of Cambridge, Cambridge, England. Currently Acting Chair of Dept. of Revisionist Rock Music History, University of California, Berkeley. Dr. Farquardt is Editor of two related publications, the "Berkeley Applied Research Facilitating International Technology" and the "University Professors' Compendium of High Utility Critical Knowledge. Dr. Farquardt is a direct descendant of Freddy Farquardt, the industrialist who dominated the international musical instrument, cat litter, toilet paper, monocle, sanitary wipes, and railroad industries in the mid to late 1800's; his initial fortune was made supplying reveille bugles to the both the Union Army and Confederacy during the American Civil War.
Published in Spring 2014 Edition of UPCHUCK Quarterly.
"Let's look back: It has been 50 years since the Beatles were on Ed Sullivan in 1964 as the real Rock revolution began.... It progressed roughly for another 20 years until 1983 or so. And today it feels that, despite the wonderful Internet enabling many artists to be heard independently, freeing themselves from record label dominance and enabling them to connect more directly with fans....still it feels like we've regressed to a musical Dark Ages in our mass culture. It is rather ironic - we are in a golden age of TV shows and TV comedy offerings, yet the music landscape is a wasteland of Rap, Hip Hop, Tween Pop, Dance Disco, and faux "Alt Rock.' Very odd. Still there are melodic alternatives out there ... Derek Moment could be one of them. Or maybe not ... how the hell should I know?"
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR VLAD IMPALERONI, excerpted from his TED keynote address at the World Economic Forum Arts Symposium, Davos, Switzerland. Dr. Impaleroni is a Visiting Professor of Music History at UC Berkeley and holds the Stoker-Harker Chair of Brit-American Music History at University of Bucharest in Romania and is Editor of the quarterly journal "Compendium of Research in Applied Musicological Musicianship Interface Technology of Transylvania."
From January 2014 TED Arts Symposium Keynote
Published in Spring 2014 edition of CRAMMITT Quarterly.
“DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 set a new standard for the 'British-American Neo-Psychedelic Orchestral Folk-Art-Rock' genre ... highly original yet strongly incorporating the best elements of rock’s rich past ..."
~~~~~~~YAWN WEINER, Publisher & Managing Editor, Trolling Gnome Magazine
From February 2014 Edition of Trolling Gnome
***The MOMENT7 BAND STORY***
** Rumour? Legend? Sick Joke? Inspirational Love Story? **
“Here is how the story goes: All seven band members - three and a half Yanks and three and a half Brits, joined forces during a lavish party on board the very final Anglo-French Concorde SST flight from New York to London on October 24, 2003. Right during mid-flight they became fast friends and spontaneously put together a 45-minute set of some of Derek's original songs and then performed them acoustically before a Concorde SST jet full of luminaries and celebrities. The on-plane audience included Paul McCartney, Justin Hayward, Richard Branson, Tom Hanks, Jerry Weintraub, Ron Howard, Brian Grazer, Rob Reiner, Bill Maher, Jimmy Kimmel, his wife Adam Carolla, and Arianna Huffington. The band of seven musicians came to be called Derek Moment & Moment7, magically coalescing at ‘Mach 2' (1350 miles per hour) while screaming over the Atlantic. By the time they landed at Heathrow, news had spread to the major news and entertainment media; thousands had already descended at Heathrow to see the final Concorde landing. A bidding war among all the major record labels soon erupted that got massive press coverage. Within weeks, Derek Moment and Moment7 had put together a "360" multi-album / tour + merchandise endorsement deal with an entity they co-created. The newly-formed 'Branson-Howard-Grazer-Reiner-Hanks-Carolla-Moment' USA-UK media conglomerate was named 'Moment7 Music'."
"This is how the band was formed and the rest is history. Any other version of this story is simply unadulterated rumour, hokum, nonsense, twaddle, crock, lie, bull, tale, urban legend, distortion, claptrap, tripe, gibberish, drivel, bunk, garbage, baloney, hooey, hogwash, fiction, slander, whopper, subterfuge, poppycock, fraudulence, myth, deception, malarky, flim-flam, libel, untruth, fabrication, misinformation, deceit, falsity, disinformation, tall tale, innuendo, misrepresentation, bullshit, bullcrap, hocus pocus, invention, falsehood, prevarication, fable, perjury, mendacity, spuriousness, hype, mega-hype, and balderdash!”
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR MICK TRAVIS, PhD, Chair of Department of Rock Music Historical Revisionism at King's College, University of Cambridge, Cambridge, England. Dr. Travis previously was on the faculty of University College, University of Oxford, Oxford, England. Professor Travis currently serves also as Research Director at the Millar Clinic for the Study of Melodic Musicological Musicology, London, England. He is also Associate Editor and frequent contributor to the academic research journal "Berkeley Applied Research Facilitating International Technology."
"I personally can confirm the above story. Yep ... definitely ... for sure."
~~~~~~~DR. RONALDO SNARDLEY, Rock HIstorian, Editor in Chief, “Mother Folker Magazine” and frequent panelist on the PBS Series "Writing About Music is Like Dancing About Architecture." Dr. Snardley is Director of Research and a frequent contributor to the scholarly journal "University Professors' Compendium of High Utility Critical Knowledge."
"Yes, it is twue what they say about Derek Moment and Moment7. It's twue ... it's twue ... it's twue ...
~~~~~~~LILI VON SHTUPP, PhD, Professor, Berlin Institute Germany and Teutonic Institute of Technology, Stuttgart. Dr. Von Shtupp also serves as Director of the Gov. William J. Le Petomane / Hedley Lamarr Archives at the Taggart School of Music, Rock Ridge University, Johnson City, Texas.
"Je adore la musique de Derek Moment. Il est très mélodique ... avec de superbes harmonies vocales ... Je me souviens d'un grand rocher du passé. Ceci est la musique qui est libre de la rap et hip hop poubelle américaine. Ces jours-ci, les Américains semblent pour bourrer leur visage gras avec beaucoup de musique de la malbouffe. Pourquoi font-ils écoutent McMusic Big Mac avec du fromage & Freedom Fries et boire leur diabétique 'Big Gulp "Cokes? Je ne comprends pas. Alors s'il vous plaît ...les Américains ... se réveiller et sentir le café ... et le brie! "
~~~~~~~ Karen LeCleavage, Critique Musical, LeMonde de Paris 04/07/2015
(TRANSLATED TO ENGLISH: "I love the music of Derek Moment. It's wonderfully melodic ... with stunning vocal harmonies ... I'm reminded of great rock of the past. This is music that is free from USA rap hip hop trash. These days, Americans seem to stuff their fat faces with junk food music. Why do they listen to McMusic Big Macs with cheese & Freedom Fries and then drink their diabetic 'Big Gulp' Cokes? I don't understand. So please ... Americans ... wake up and smell the coffee ... and the brie!")
~~~~~~~Karen LeCleavage, Music Critic, LeMonde of Paris 7/4/2015
(THE DIALOGUE BELOW IS FROM THE PHIL HENDRIE SHOW PODCAST, AUGUST 23, 2015)
PHIL HENDRIE: Hi, it's Phil. All the characters that you hear on our show today will be performed by me, with the exception of some editing that you hear at the end of the show. We don't use any tricks, no overdubbing, no multi tracking ... none of that stuff, OK? Our entire show is recorded in real time, that is, as it is happening. So sit back, relax, and enjoy "The World Famous Phil Hendrie Show."
(Music of metal band SLAYER starts in background ... at a louder and louder volume.)
MARGARET GREY (trying to talk over increasingly loud SLAYER music): And this is the World Famous Phil Hendrie Show... I'm Margaret Grey ...
(Head-banging metal music of SLAYER is now even louder in background)
MARGARET GREY (angrily and exasperated): Could you turn this ... this caterwauling and screeching disgusting demonic brain damaged garbage ...
PHIL HENDRIE: huh?
MARGARET GREY (reversing herself, with a phony smile): Oh...hmm ...oh, I love this music... what's it called?
PHIL HENDRIE: It's SLAYER. Do you like it?
MARGARET GREY: OH...yes yes, it's wonderful! I love them! (singing) Doo, doo doo doo... (sighing) hmm yes very lovely ...
PHIL HENDRIE: Glad you like it... well, before we start the show, Margaret, will you take over here briefly? I have to leave the studio for a moment.
BUD DICKMAN (chortling and giggling): Ha ha.... Mr. Hendrie's gotta go to the "Little Boys Room.' haha He can't hold it no more ! hahaha
PHIL HENDRIE: Grow up, Bud. And Margaret, I'll be right back.
MARGARET GREY: Certainly, Phil... we'll carry on until you return.
MARGARET GREY: Well now that we briefly have the show to ourselves, I need to say something. We, the characters of 'The World Famous Phil Hendrie' Show," want to give our thorough praise and complete unabashed endorsement of the wonderful music of Derek Moment and Moment7. I'm Margaret Grey."
BUD DICKMAN (clapping): Yay!
MARGARET GREY: Additionally... speaking on behalf of the entire "Phil Hendrie Show" cast ... we all have frankly grown weary of the trashy music that Phil insists on using in the show ... you know, the Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Speed Metal, and especially the Rap, and the Hip Hop garbage that you hear as "bumper music" played at the beginning and end of commercial breaks. Obviously, Phil Hendrie is a brilliant and gifted performing genius ... but why he insists on playing that vile 'music' is beyond me. I will admit that the Rap and Metal can be rather stimulating to some listeners who are on a lower level of mental awareness and consciousness if you will... and perhaps Phil wants to infuse the show with a certain energy and shock value ... but seriously this music is deeply, deeply disturbing to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together. It hurts my ears, gives me a migraine, and really triggers my acid reflux."
BUD DICKMAN (trying to be helpful): "Miss Grey, can I get you a P...P... Prozac I mean P...P.. Paxil for your A...A... Acid Re...Re...f..f... f... flux?"
MARGARET GREY: "That is Prilosec, Bud. Not Prozac or Paxil. And yes, please, I will take one Prilosec. Thank you.
MARGARET GREY (gulping the Prilosec and refocusing): To continue.... frankly, nobody here is quite sure whether Phil Hendrie really likes this "Rap Metal Hip Hop" 'music' or whatever you call that trash ... or if he just plays it as an ironic joke. We suspect the latter, but that is the magic of The Phil Hendrie Show: Phil likes to keep people guessing. Those of us in the cast of The Phil Hendrie Show of course don't want to anger Phil or disrupt his creative flow, so we just simply "put up with it' and at times we even pretend to like it.
BUD DICKMAN: Yeah... we pre...pre... pretend...th-th-that like we li... li.. like it... we-we p-p-pretend.. yeah...
MARGARET GREY: Bud please.... let me finish. Now, on a positive note, we do know for a fact that Phil does greatly enjoy Derek Moment's music privately when not on the air. And though Phil has not yet played Derek's music publicly on this show, we certainly would welcome it. But then again, perhaps Derek Moment's melodic music does not provide the sufficient shock value and angry energy of Metal and Rap music that Phil wants for the show... I don't know... Anyway, I have noticed that Phil, during quiet, private times, will often play Derek Moment songs when alone and not on the air."
BUD DICKMAN (mockingly chortling): "Ha ha ha ... you mean that Mr. Hendrie's alone playing with his privates that don't have no hair? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!"
MARGARET GREY (frustrated and exasperated) : "Oh ... my ... god. Bud Dickman... you... you useless yammering nincompoop waste of space ... this is my final warning... if you EVER interrupt me again with one of your foul, crude sexual references, I am going to slam your head so hard into the wall that you'll need two more metal plates in your skull just to support that empty volume of air between your ears."
BUD DICKMAN (apologetically): "Sorry Miss Grey..."
MARGARET GREY: "All right, then. To summarize: we thoroughly endorse Derek Moment's music and find it to be, if you will, a rather refreshing 'musical palate cleanser' in comparison to the vile, noxious music that Phil Hendrie plays on his otherwise wonderfully brilliant show."
MARGARET GREY: "There ... I said it. I'm Margaret Grey."
BUD DICKMAN (clapping): "Yay!"
"(Or "Pretend Signed - sort of like 'Pretend Hanging Up'),"
MARGARET GREY AND THE ENTIRE PERFORMING CAST AND SPONSORS OF THE PHIL HENDRIE SHOW"
Margaret Grey, General Gaylen Shaw, Bud Dickman, Harvey Weirman, Robert Leonard, Lloyd Bonafide (Mouth Siren Cop), Bob Bakian ("Nine Pounds Of Swinging Meat"), Sky Boy, Sky Baby, Boyd Sweetan, Bobbie Dooley, Steve Dooley, Brass Villanueva, Pastor David Castornini, David G. Hall, Western Estates Homeowners Association, Frank Grey, Steve Bosell, Ted Bell, Ted's Of Beverly Hills, Ted's Hot Dog, Vernon Dozier, Doug Dannger, Jay Santos. Citizens Auxiliary Police, Bob Green, Herb Sewell, Dr. Jim Sadler, Mavis Leonard, Justin McElroy, Austin Amarka, Chris Norton, Pastor William Rennick, Rick Bonefeel, Dr. Jim Sadler, Chris Putay, Dr. Ron Tarner of the Mount Meadow Observatory in Cloverdale, Colorado, Dave Oliva, Hong Kong Charlie, Don Parsley, Kevin Coneal and the Real Estate Foreclosure Hour, Attorney Delores Blasingame, Deane Wheeler, Emerelda Wheeler, Wes Hurlford, Elcott Arc Of The Novitiate, Professor Emory Clayton, Karen Deauville, Leon Dunphy, Dr. Ed Elcott, Overlord K, The Elcott Redeemery, Elcott - The Next Step, The Overlords, Karen Blatherman, Bozo's Pep Pills, Barney's Roses, Meatball's Clown Supplies, Audrey Bailey, Jack Eigagder, Bret Moreson, Earl Cooch, Touch Gerber, Edna Gerber, Marty Lufthansa, General Johnson Jameson, Don Burman, Don Micksa, Rudy Canoza, Larry Grover, Gloria Grover, Kenny Slag, Brad Rifkin, Art Griego, Father James McQuarters, Clara Bingham, R.C. Collins, Chef Carl Chodillia, Jeff Dowder, Raj Fahneen
Available through iTunes
*** DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 - THE BAND ***
- Derek Moment - lead vocals, guitars, mandolin, bass, keyboards
- Justin Connor McDermott - keyboards, sax, woodwinds, vocals
- Ian Miller-Zane - drums, percussion, vocals
- Trevor McGeorge - lead guitars
- Nigel Sainte-Clements - bass, guitars, keyboards, vocals
- Brandonton Smalle - keyboards, guitars, vocals
- Tony LePegge - sax, woodwinds, keyboards, vocals
** DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 **
"OUR 280 (Plus or Minus) FAVORITE ARTISTS & MUSICAL INSPIRATIONS"
The Moody Blues, Justin Hayward, The Beatles, Paul McCartney, The Beach Boys, Electric Light Orchestra, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, ELO, CSNY, Byrds, Jefferson Airplane, (Early) Bee Gees, (Early) America, Dan Fogelberg, The Association, Traffic, Jackson Browne, The Yardbirds, Buffalo Springfield, The Walker Brothers, Roy Orbison, John Lennon, George Harrison, Eagles, Bruce Springsteen, Roger McGuinn, Jellyfish, Led Zeppelin, Bad Company, Foreigner, Journey, Kenny Loggins, Jim Messina, Joni Mitchell, Stevie Wonder, Warren Zevon, Moby Grape, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Loggins & Messina, Boston, Simon & Garfunkel, Paul Simon, Peter Paul & Mary, The Zombies, The Animals, Chuck Berry, Eric Burdon and The Animals, Brian Wilson, Buckingham-Nicks, Jeff Lynne, YES, Claude Debussy, Maurice Ravel, Johann Pachelbel, Fleetwood Mac, The Ventures, The Beau Brummels, The Temptations, The Kinks, The Vogues, The Youngbloods, Elton John, The Doobie Brothers, Poco (Rusty Young, Paul Cotton, Richie Furay, Timothy B. Schmidt), Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Mike Campbell, Benmont Tench, Stan Lynch, Gordon Lightfoot, James Taylor, Pink Floyd, Carole King, The Hollies, Grace Slick, The Four Tops, The Righteous Brothers, Huey Lewis & The News, Clannad, The Knack, The Guess Who, Burton Cummings, (early) Pure Prairie League, Coldplay, Moment7, Crowded House, Traveling Wilburys, Mourning Reign, Chocolate Watch Band, Nobody's Children, Magic Mushroom, Traffic, Steve Winwood, David Bowie, Roger Manning, Steely Dan, Bob Weir, Alan Price (O Lucky Man), (early) Heart (Dreamboat Annie era), Alice In Chains, Spandau Ballet, Cat Stevens, Chicago, Don Henley, Steve Miller, Marty Balin, Grateful Dead. Boz Scaggs, Seals & Crofts, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, John Lodge, Graeme Edge, Genesis, Mike Pinder, Ray Thomas, Tremeloes, Long John Baldry, Spencer Davis Group, Souther Hillman Furay, Joe Walsh, Bernie Leadon-Michael Georgiades, Marc Cohn, Randy Meisner, Don Felder, Raspberries, Young Rascals, Glenn Frey, Brothers Four, Paul Revere & The Raiders, Mark Lindsay, Taxxi, a-ha (aha), Jethro Tull, Greg Kihn, Ides Of March, Hotlegs, Honeymoon Suite, Cream, Jack Bruce, Loverboy, King Crimson, Country Joe & The Fish, Big Brother & The Holding Company with Janis Joplin, Eric Clapton, John Mayall's Bluesbreakers, Derek Moment, Moment7 Music, Asia, Drifters, Jackie DeShannon, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, Isley Brothers, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Eric Johnson, Chambers Brothers, Jackson Five, Alan Parsons, Badfinger, Ray Charles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Marty Robbins, Marvin Gaye, Rembrandts, Rush (Power Windows), Sly & The Family Stone, Michael Hedges, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, Will Ackerman, Derek Moment, Big Star, Blind Faith, Blood Sweat & Tears, Bob Dylan, Bonnie Raitt, Brent Bourgeois, Bourgeois/Tagg, Grand Funk Railroad (Closer To Home), The Wonders (The Oneders), Bonnie Hayes, Styx, Supertramp, Derek Moment Music, Moment7 Music, Gene Pitney, Left Banke, Buddy Holly, Queen, (early) Rod Stewart, Cars, Nils Lofgren, Burt Bacharach & Hal David, Carpenters, Peter & Gordon, Joan Baez, Chad & Jeremy, Rick Wakeman, Renaissance, Four Freshmen, Chris Isaak, Cock Robin, David Ault, Music Machine, Eva Cassidy, Peter Frampton, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, Spinal Tap, The Rutles, Tenacious D, Adele, Deep Purple, Allman Brothers, Paul Rodgers & Free, The Tubes, The Doors, Pablo Cruise, The E-Types, Earth Quake, Elvis Presley, King Crimson, Wilson Pickett, Gary Puckett & The Union Gap, Gene Clark, The Copas Brothers (of New Orleans), Butch Whacks & The Glass Packs, Pretenders, Guns & Roses, Michael Penn, David LaFlamme, It's A Beautiful Day, Donald Fagan, Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Maurice Gibb, Ray Davies, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, Ray Manzarek, Jim Morrison, Bread w David Gates, Alice In Chains, H.P.Lovecraft, Jars Of Clay, Neil Diamond, Donovan, Them (w/ Van Morrison), Jeff Wayne's War Of The Worlds, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Terry Kath, Ned Doheny, Jorma Kaukonen, Hot Tuna, Neil Finn, Sam Cooke, Sam & Dave, Linda Ronstadt, Lionel Ritchie, Love w/ Arthur Lee, The Mamas & Papas, Dick Bright and HIs Sounds Of Delight featuring Little Roger & The Goosebumps, Manfred Mann, The Rolling Stones, The Smithereens, Small Faces, The Police, Manassas, Steve Stills, David Crosby, Graham Nash, Neil Young, The Four Lads, Van Halen (David Lee Roth era), The Searchers, The Eurythmics, Bruce Cockburn, Original Hair Soundtrack (James Rado and Galt McDermott), Blue Jays (Justin Hayward and John Lodge), Rod Argent.
** DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 **
"OUR 280 (Plus or Minus) FAVORITE ARTISTS & MUSICAL INSPIRATIONS"
a-ha (aha), Adele,Alan Parsons, Alan Price (O Lucky Man), Alice In Chains, Allman Brothers, America (early), Animals, Asia, Association, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Bad Company, Badfinger, Barry Gibb, Beach Boys, Beatles, Beau Brummels, Bee Gees (early), Benmont Tench, Bernie Leadon-Michael Georgiades, Big Brother & The Holding Company with Janis Joplin, Big Star, Blind Faith, Blood Sweat & Tears, Blue Jays (Justin Hayward and John Lodge), Bob Dylan, Bob Weir, Bonnie Hayes, Bonnie Raitt, Boston ,Bourgeois-Tagg, Bread w David Gates, Brent Bourgeois, Brian Wilson, Bruce Cockburn, Bruce Springsteen, Buckingham-Nicks, Buddy Holly, Buffalo Springfield, Burt Bacharach-Hal David, Burton Cummings, Butch Whacks & The Glass Packs, Byrds, CSNY, Carole King, Carpenters, Cars, Cat Stevens, Chad & Jeremy, Chambers Brothers, Chicago, Chocolate Watch Band, Chris Isaak, Chuck Berry, Clannad, Claude Debussy, Cock Robin, Coldplay, Copas Brothers, Country Joe & The Fish , Cream, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Crowded House, Dan Fogelberg, David Ault,David Bowie, David Crosby, David LaFlamme, Deep Purple, Derek Moment, Dick Bright and HIs Sounds Of Delight (featuring Little Roger & The Goosebumps), Don Felder, Don Henley, Donald Fagan, Donovan, Doobie Brothers, Doors, Drifters, E-Types, ELO, Eagles, Earth Quake, Electric Light Orchestra, Elton John, lvis Presley, Emerson Lake & Palmer,Eric Burdon and The Animals,Eric Clapton,Eric Johnson, Eurythmics,Eva Cassidy, Fleetwood Mac, Flying Burrito Brothers, Foreigner, Four Freshmen, Four Lads, Four Tops, Gary Puckett & The Union Gap, Gene Clark, Gene Pitney, Genesis, George Harrison, Glenn Frey, Gordon Lightfoot, Grace Slick, Graeme Edge, Graham Nash, Grand Funk Railroad (Closer To Home), Grateful Dead, Boz Scaggs, Greg Kihn, Guess Who, Guns & Roses, H.P.Lovecraft, Hair Soundtrack (James Rado and Galt McDermott), Heart (early), Hollies, Honeymoon Suite, Hot Tuna, Hotlegs, Huey Lewis & The News, Ides Of March, Isley Brothers, It's A Beautiful Day, Jack Bruce, Jackie DeShannon, Jackson Browne, Jackson Five, James Taylor, Jars Of Clay, Jeff Lynne, Jeff Wayne's War Of The Worlds, Jefferson Airplane, Jellyfish, Jethro Tull, Jim Messina, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page, Joan Baez, Joe Walsh, Johann Pachelbel, John Lennon, John Lodge, John Mayall's Bluesbreakers, Joni Mitchell, Jorma Kaukonen, Journey, Justin Hayward, Kenny Loggins, King Crimson, Kinks, Knack, Led Zeppelin, Left Banke, Linda Ronstadt, Lionel Ritchie, Loggins & Messina, Long John Baldry, Love w/ Arthur Lee, Loverboy, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Mamas & Papas, Manassas, Manfred Mann, Marc Cohn, Mark Lindsay, Marty Balin, Marty Robbins, Marvin Gaye, Maurice Gibb, Maurice Ravel, Michael Hedges, Michael Penn, Mike Campbell, Mike Pinder, Moby Grape, Moment7, Moody Blues, Music Machine, Ned Doheny, Neil Diamond, Neil Finn, Neil Young, Nils Lofgren, Pablo Cruise, Paul Cotton, Paul McCartney, Paul Revere & The Raiders, Paul Rodgers & Free, Paul Simon, Peter & Gordon, Peter Frampton, Peter Gabriel, Peter Paul & Mary, Phil Collins, Pink Floyd, Poco, Police, Pretenders, Pure Prairie League (early),Queen, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Randy Meisner, Raspberries, Ray Charles, Ray Davies, Ray Manzarek, Ray Thomas, Rembrandts, Renaissance, Richie Furay, Rick Wakeman, Righteous Brothers, Robert Plant, Robin Gibb, Rod Argent, Rod Stewart (early), Roger Joseph Manning Jr., Roger McGuinn, Rolling Stones, Roy Orbison, Rush (Power Windows), Rusty Young, Rutles, Sam & Dave, Sam Cooke, Seals & Crofts, Searchers, Simon & Garfunkel, Sly & The Family Stone, Small Faces, Smithereens, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, Souther Hillman Furay, Spandau Ballet, Spencer Davis Group, Spinal Tap, Stan Lynch, Steely Dan, Steve Miller, Steve Stills, Steve Winwood, Stevie Wonder, Styx, Supertramp, Taxxi, Temptations, Tenacious D, Terry Kath, Them (w/ Van Morrison), Timothy B. Schmidt), Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Traffic, Traveling Wilburys, Tremeloes, Tubes, Van Halen (David Lee Roth era), Ventures, Vogues, Walker Brothers, Warren Zevon, Will Ackerman, Wilson Pickett, Wonders (The Oneders), YES, Yardbirds, Young Rascals, Youngbloods, Zombies.
THE POETRY CORNER
by *Elmer The Poet Laureate
'Listen close and double your dose
Drink some more and open the Door
Jimmy Mo, The Do ...
But hearing the music
Of Derek Moment
Of sound waves ...
My mind begins ...
Of Musical Revolution
Could this be the Solution?
(Well, at least it ain't devolution)
So don't get hysteric about Derek!
Just open the Door
Like Ray Manzarek ...'
~~~~~~~ELMER THE POET LAUREATE of the greater Mecca / Indio / Thermal, California SMSA. Elmer was recently confirmed for this position by the Director of Poetry Operations at the United States Bureau of Land Management (BLM), Western Region.
*As channeled by DR. RONALDO SNARDLEY, Editor in Chief, “MOTHER FOLKER MAGAZINE” and Host of the PBS Series "Writing About Music is Like Dancing About Architecture."
*** THE EDITORIAL CORNER ***
**AN ONGOING COLLECTION OF COMMENTARY ON THE CURRENT STATE OF AMERICAN MUSIC AND POPULAR CULTURE**
~~~~~~~ (Curated by Prof. Ronaldo Snardley, PhD.)
"Won't someone with a major voice in the national media or elsewhere speak out ... somebody who isn't intimidated by the politically correct culturally diverse sensitive leftist media elite and the political correctness forced down people's throats on college campuses ... won't somebody please grow a pair and shout out the truth ... that the major media companies and record labels are subjecting America and the world to rap and hip hop and other types of non-music that is pure garbage ... wake up you PC American sheeple .... the Emperor has no clothes!"
"Of course, maybe this is Big Media's last gasp swan song attempt at cultural relevance as the people gravitate to other sources and distribution channels. I hope this is the case. But Big Media won't go down without a fight - and they have a lot of money to fight with to get your attention forcibly! So here comes more rap and hip hop... bend over and take it! And what I fear the most is that it is not just Big Media alone anymore ... but that at this point the sheeple have been conditioned, through mass repetition over the years, to actually like this garbage. The sheeple are at the point that they don't know the difference. And that is scary!"
"What should we do then? Try to assimilate? Become pretend hip hop fans? Merge with the rap borg? Smile while we take it up the ear? Hopefully the creation of quality melodic rock and pop music will delay the cramming of dumbed down hip hop dipshit culture down our collective throats ... staving off the decline of western civilization. But who am I kidding. Game over. We are all screwed. Rap has already won. It will take years and years for this garbage to disappear from our culture if it ever disappears. Luckily we have many channels of distribution these days to find good music if we seek it out ... but when you turn on mass TV or mass movies or mass media commercials in the mass market, expect to continue to bend over while big media companies pander to the Idiocracy and try to ram it up your ear."
~~~~~~~GREG FITZSIMMONS, comedian, podcaster, host of Greg Fitzsimmons show / Fitzdog podcast, and Sirius show on Howard Stern network.
From a September 2014 podcast
"Here's one thing: I guarantee that any kind of melodic classic rock style music these days ... will never get noticed by the the Cheetos-eating basement-dwelling critics from rags like Rolling Stone Magazine who worship at the Temple of Hip Hop and the New York Altar of Lou Reed, Patti Smith, The Ramones, Television, Iggy Pop, Sonic Youth, The New York Dolls, - you know, the twisted melodically challenged acts who have just the right angry alienated New York 'attitude' to please many New York critics from the Rolling Stone Magazine hipster school who get off on cigarettes, tattoos, piercings, punk, and anything deemed 'alternative.'"
~~~~~~~DANA GOULD, stand-up comedian, actor, writer, podcaster ("The Dana Gould Hour") former long-running writer for The Simpsons. His 2013 comedy special "I Know It's Wrong" was recently broadcast on Showtime.
From a April 2015 podcast
"Oh yeah, speaking of junk loved by Rolling Stone critics ... let's talk about rap and hip hop ... I don't get it ... and I wonder if rap "fans" themselves even get it or are they just robots worshiping the latest fad ... I've grown so tired of the rap chicks dressed like hookers ... and the wanna be gangsters bragging about their cars and bling and ho's ... and witness the ho's themselves in the videos... "I know you want it boy" and "I want you to give it to me" blah blah blah... give me a break. And have you seen the size of the asses on these ho's who seem to be so revered by the sheeple... such as Nikki and Kim, etc?? Since when has it become attractive and fashionable to have two HUGE cellulite ridden butt cheeks the size of beach balls filled with quivering jello? This is beauty? This is some sort of feminine ideal? I say it is more like proof that these women have given up! Talk about trying to culturally turn lemons into lemonade!"
"Meanwhile, all this "music" if you want to call it that is created by some cynical "producer" with a laptop and a Casio, a drum machine and a rhyming dictionary. Feeding the sheeple. Dumbing down the culture. And Rap "lyrics" themselves.... what a joke. My 8 year old twins could write better lyrics ... And now ... rap "artists" are being inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame ? WTF? Am I the only one who thinks this is insane? This alone is proof of the complete dumbing down of our Idiocracy culture. Besides that I have no opinion on the matter!"
~~~~~~~ADAM CAROLLA, podcaster, comedian, cultural critic, author of four New York Times best selling books, and co-creator of the world's most downloaded podcast, The Adam Carolla Show; Carolla's TV and movie projects include Catch A Contractor, Loveline, The Man Show, Crank Yankers, The Hammer, Road Hard, and the 2015 documentary "Winning: The Racing Life of Paul Newman."
From a February 2015 interview
"Speaking of the Rock Hall of Fame.... so many deserving bands have NOT been voted in. Just look at the list: The Moody Blues, YES, Chicago, Journey, Electric Light Orchestra, The Doobie Brothers, Foreigner, Bad Company, Boston, Steve Miller, Deep Purple, Jethro Tull, The Cars, The Zombies, Joe Walsh, Supertramp, Guess Who, Carole King (as performer), Badfinger, Moby Grape, Loggins & Messina, Kenny Loggins, Warren Zevon, Love (w Arthur Lee), Emerson Lake and Palmer, Walker Brothers, Gordon Lightfoot, Crowded House, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Huey Lewis & The News, Paul Revere & The Raiders, Bread with David Gates, Dan Fogelberg, The Carpenters, Big Star, Peter Paul and Mary, Joan Baez, The Monkees, The Youngbloods, Clannad, Poco, The Tubes, The Knack."
"Sure, there will always be arguments concerning which of the above artists deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. But ALL of them are MUCH MORE DESERVING THAN ANY OF THOSE LISTED BELOW! Now look at those who HAVE been inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame:"
"Sex Pistols, Lou Reed, The Ramones, Grandmaster Flash, Parliament-Funkadelic, Metallica, Joan Jett, Green Day, Madonna, Kiss, Public Enemy, Velvet Underground, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, Alice Cooper, Stooges, Black Sabbath."
"LOOK AT THIS LIST! These people are in the Rock Hall of Fame! WTF?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"
"So when you look into it more closely, the entire Rock Hall Of Fame 'nomination and induction process' is run by a small secretive cabal dominated by Jann Wenner of Rolling Stone and current / former Rolling Stone writers PLUS major label music executives who advertise in Rolling Stone. The whole process is a mystery and totally opaque and reeks of corruption. You hear stories of intense lobbying being done behind closed doors by various record labels and supposed journalists and 'friends of friends' pushing their own personal preferences and their own label's artists. And then this secret cabal annually magically come out with their annual "inductees." What a total sham. More and more stories are coming out about the whole corrupt Rock Hall of Fame induction process and it is starting to anger lots of music fans."
~~~~~~~GREG FITZSIMMONS, comedian, writer, and host of 'Fitzdog Radio' podcast and 'The Greg Fitzsimmons Show' on the Sirius "Howard Stern 101" channel.
From a March 2015 podcast
"I pity the Rock Hall Of Fame visitors of the future. What exhibits will the visitor see? .. a bucket of Gene Simmon's fake blood and artificial tongues and wigs, or some AK-47's and Glocks formerly owned by Public Enemy? Hoodies worn by Run DMC? Heroin syringe collection of Sid Vicious ? Nose and penis piercing hardware worn by Johnny Rotten? Collection of Joan Jett's leather jackets and black hair dye? Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen OD technology and and/or methods used to kill each other until success was finally achieved? Patti Smith's discarded cigarette butts and broken-down wife-beater T-shirts? Chronology of Billy Joe Armstrong eyeliner and mascara (Green Day exhibit sponsored by Maybelline)? Perhaps an exhibit of Madonna's cone shaped bras and other faux media bullshit that her fake career revolved around? Perhaps a list of songs Madonna had no hand in co-writing yet where she still forced her way into getting co-writing credit?"
~~~~~~~GREG FITZSIMMONS, comedian, writer, and host of 'Fitzdog Radio' podcast and 'The Greg Fitzsimmons Show' on the Sirius "Howard Stern 100" channel.
From an April 2014 podcast
"Hey tourists, visit the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame in Cleveland NOW before it's too late. In the near future it will be full of full of rap, hip hop, punk, tween pop, and disco memorabilia. The "Rock" section will housed in a beaten up warehouse annex down the street from the phenomenal majestic main I.M. Pei-designed building... a shuttle bus will take you there to the "annex" or "satellite" building on the other side of town across the tracks to visit the "Rock" section ... I predict in 10-15 years, the only time the Rock Hall Of Fame will be in the news is because of the periodic stabbings, shootings, and related mayhem committed by descending hordes of bussed-in thugs from scattered urban rat holes ... all attending free rap shows created by well meaning museum bureaucrats and docents in order to 'educate and entertain the public.' Yeah right. Can't wait to see what this musical future looks like. I'll watch it from afar from my bunker."
~~~~~~~ADAM CAROLLA, podcaster, comedian, cultural critic, philosopher, professional ranter, and co-creator of the world's most downloaded podcast, The Adam Carolla Show, along with Loveline, The Man Show, Crank Yankers, The Hammer, Road Hard, and the 2015 Paul Newman documentary "Winning: The Racing Life of Paul Newman."
From a January 2015 podcast
DEREK MOMENT & MOMENT7 TO OPEN FOR PAUL McCARTNEY
IN UPCOMING CENTRAL VALLEY CALIFORNIA TOUR
***(Press Release - From MPL Communications - London, England
Contact: Miles Standish +44 20 8848 2000)***
Paul McCartney's office today announced that Derek Moment will be the opening performer for the Central Valley California leg of Paul McCartney’s upcoming tour. Announcement was made by McCartney spokesman Miles Standish from the rooftop of the MPL Communications Building in the Mayfair District of London.
The first Central Valley California show will be at Modesto's Melvin W. Cowpie, Jr. Memorial Rodeo Show Grounds. Date TBA. It is expected that the show will take place sometime during the 6-month-long Stanislaus County Fair & Fertilizer Extravaganza. Other Central California shows include Mecca, Atwater, Indio, Visalia, Bakersfield, Barstow, Stockton, Madera, Needles, Merced, Fresno, Ontario, Riverside, Apple Valley and Turlock, with additional cities to be announced.
Additionally, McCartney has been recruited to conduct a series of “melody master class seminars” prior to each evening's performance. Seminar locations announced include University of California Merced, Fresno State University, Cal State University Stanislaus in Turlock, DeVry Institute in Modesto, and University of Phoenix in strip malls everywhere.
The McCartney master class seminars will be as part of a “Rap/Hip-Hop Deprogramming-Intervention” campaign jointly sponsored by the US Dept.of Education, American Psychological Association, and The US Audiology Society.
ADDRESSING THE RAP HIP HOP PROBLEM
The "rap hip hop problem" is acknowledged to be at pandemic levels worldwide and is particularly acute in the USA. In the USA, universities are struggling with dumbed-down student populations raised by dumbed-down households which have been continuously exposed to rap, hip hop, disco, reality shows, and ‘tween pop in the corporate controlled media. Many college students today are said to have declining intellectual curiosity and many theorize that rap and hip hop is to blame in that it can stunt intellectual development. Budget cuts in primary and secondary schools have resulted in little exposure to melody and harmony and musical knowledge, and this void has been filled by corporate media selling lowest common denominator rap, hip hop, and Taylor Swift-quality 'tween pop. Kids raising in this vacuum go on to college with a brain full of mush. The impact according to musicologists and social scientists and other experts has been devastating
Says musicologist Sparkland Farquard, PhD: " This lack, from a young age, of musical exposure to melody and harmony and tempo and lyrics - what we call music ... has resulted in a void that has fueled the rise of so-called "artists" like Kanye West, Nikki Minaj, Kendrick Lamarr, Lil' Wayne, Fifty Cent, Jay Z, Dr. Dre, The Game, Drake, etc etc ad nauseum - they have been welcomed by a dumbed down group of mostly millennial robots who are all competing with each other to convince themselves that rap is cool, even though they don't really believe it themselves and don't have the ability to judge shit from shinola. Rap would never have expanded without the musical vacuum that existed in our culture. Kids today don't know what music is and what to like. They are confused. Hopefully the McCarney deprogramming with de-confuse them!"
DUMBED DOWN GENERATION - THE RAP AND HIP HOP CONNECTION
"What a generation we have created... it is pathetic. We have created heroes out of ghetto thug and thug-ette "artist" poseurs with Casio's, drum machines, laptops, and rhyming dictionaries who are barfing out incredibly stupid and dumbed down and inane "lyrics" while their little drum machine robotic devices barf out lame "beats." Then they grab their rhyming dictionaries and thing they are poets because they found two words that rhyme with each other. And remember for many of these ghetto dwellers, the rhyming dictionary is the first book they ever really looked at, since in their culture books and learning were for wussies and sellouts who were kissing up to the man. This the mentality of the culture that these people come from. These people create "beats" and think there is something creative about it. Hey, Mr. Thug "Artist" - try learning how to play a real set of drums and REALLY create beats rather than push buttons on a drum machine and call it "art". Note that none of the major rap or hip hop "artists" can even play an instrument. And robot automaton kids take the lead and think they don't need to learn how to play an instrument to create "music. The cycle of stupidity - the chain of idiocy - goes on and one. Hip hop and rap is such a joke. The artists are a joke. I find it unbelievably shocking that music has devolved in our culture to this level. Is it the beginning of the decline of Western civilization? No, it is worse than that; it IS the slow decline of Western Civilization. The United States has become a third world culture in terms of its dominant musical art form."
As Farquard continues to rant: "The result of rap being popular over successive generations is that many students who have been dumbed down by it and its many dumbing down tentacles are now entering overhyped and overpriced colleges that the students for which they are not academically prepared; they can't write, spell or read at a college level. They can't even recognize basic musical melody and harmony. The dumbness has been built into their DNA through epigenetics - the DNA has been modified and inherited from their dumbed down parents. Today 35% of all freshman in college take remedial English and math classes! And these are colleges students?! And after taking the mandatory classes they still can't write or do basic math. These kids should have never been admitted to college to begin with. They are stunted in their development. These students who got "socially promoted" in high school (i.e. passed classes they failed, moving on to the next grade, while their school district collects the average daily attendance for warehousing these dummies) - these kids then go to college and continue to get "socially promoted" so colleges can also collect fees from them and the government and keep the educational bureaucracy fed. A college degree today has become a joke unless it is from an elite public or private school with high admission standards. Any dummy today can get a college degree. I've met many many "college grads" who can't write, can't spell, can't do basic math, and who read and do math at an elementary school level at best. One great example of the system: SAT scores are today 30-40% lower than they were forty years ago. To cover this decline up and in order to put lipstick on this pig, the Educational Testing Service that administers the SAT had totally re-calibrated the SAT scoring system in 1994 because SAT scores had dropped by 36% since 1970 and the US was embarrassed that its student scores had declined compared to the rest of the world. It was a direct reflection of the US educational system, teacher tenure, teacher unions, social promotion, and the underlying lack of interest in education by a certain lower income segment of the society, for who the greatest teachers in the world can't do anything to make them into half decent students with underlying intellectual curiosity. So some dummy who got a median score of 425 on the SAT in 1993 would be recalibrated to the targeted median of 500 in 1994. And that is what happened. On the surface and for PR purposes, average SAT scores looked acceptable again - simply because they were recalibrated to cover up the dumbing down of the student population. The image of our educational system gets a false PR image makeover. Students aren't as dumb as we thought is the reaction from the public that doesn't really know what is going on. The educational bureaucracy move onwards and upwards. The university machine keeps going throughout the country. Colleges expand, tuition goes up, and the "educrats" (education industry bureaucrats) are happy. These same student brainiacs, many of whom don't belong in college to begin with, end up staying in school and accumulating student loans that will burden them to the tune of $40,000 to $100,000 when they are finished with college and meanwhile most of these students don't have the skills to handle a job in the current work environment - they end us serving coffee at Starbucks and living with their parents after college... today we have the longest adolescence period in history - kids living with their parents at age 30+. Universities and the education lobby and teacher unions all contributing to politicians, who approve larger and larger student loan limits, and students accumulate more debt, without any pressure on universities to rein in fees. The glory of being a college graduate continues to be promoted in the society without any challenge from politicians or educrats or so called "leaders." The scam goes on. If you don't believe this is taking place, hey take an entertainment break and go watch the movie Idiocracy from Mike Judge of Silicon Valley HBO fame. That 2006 movie is incredibly prophetic. Except that instead of the "dumbing-down" reaching its peak in 500 years as in the movie, it has reached it in only 10 years, by 2016! No wonder many universities have seen the need to turn the culture around - and one small way to do this is to help people turn away from a dumbing down influence like rap and hip hop music."
RECRUITMENT OF McCARTNEY
"So, to address this nagging rap hip hop problem and the significant damage it is having on USA, UK, and kids worldwide, and to provide students with basic classroom exposure to harmony and melody, Paul McCartney was recruited and this pilot program was the result. So far, there have been over forty-five interventions in fifteen different US cities in the two years. It has not been determined if these interventions have had any effect. Most were there just to meet Paul McCartney. As much as McCartney has tried, perhaps the musical dumbing down damage has been done and things are irreversible. I hope that is not the case. But if true, I shudder at our culture's future," concluded Farquard.
MOMENT'S ENVIRONMENTAL PLAN FOR CENTRAL CALIFORNIA TOUR
Now, in terms of the Central Valley California leg of the McCartney tour, Derek Moment is vowing to conduct his entire series of Central Valley shows in an unprecedented “green” fashion. To do this, he intends to partner with and has submitted detailed plans to the National Resource Defense Council, Sierra Club, and Audubon Society. (Moment is still waiting to hear formally from these organizations and expects a response very soon. So far they have responded with Tweets of "He's nuts" but Moment simply just interprets that Tweet as confirmation and endorsement of Moment's practice of including a lot of almonds, cashews, walnuts, pistachios, and macadamias in his diet.) "His Nuts, yes indeed" is Moment's reply Tweet.
Anyway, here is the Moment Environmental Plan: For one, all shows will be performed outdoors in the daytime when the sun is directly overhead, thereby avoiding the need for unnecessary lighting rigs, spotlights, stage and outdoor security lighting. Safety will be improved because there is no risk that a lighting rig will collapse and injure audience members or those on stage. An added benefit of daytime shows: the crowd will be exposed to healthy doses of Vitamin D directly from the golden California sun. Medical consultants hired by the concert promotor indicate that people should not worry about overheating or sun exposure or sunburns - this is way overhyped and sort of an urban legend and old wives tale. Sunburns and skin damage are no big thing. Melanoma is of almost zero concern, despite all the press hype. However, in case "worry wart" "chicken little" type concert-goers are concerned about sun exposure, special booths run by tour sponsor Synactif Creme* of France will distribute reduced price sunscreen and sunblock to all attendees at 20% off the $1000 retail price at Bloomingdale's. Sun protection hats from the Moment7 clothing line will be sold at a 20% discount from the standard Bloomingdales MSRP of $135.99. And Special M7 sun protection long sleeved white shirts will also sell for 20% off their $99.99 MSRP. (All Moment7 clothing, like Apple products, are "designed in California!" and made in China by FoxConn. Derek Moment cautions that just because Derek's company Moment7 and Steve Job's company, Apple, both share "Designed In California" characteristics and both manufacture through FoxConn, that comparisons should not be made between Moment and Steve Jobs, regardless of how similar these two legends are in terms of innovation, vision, and anticipating the needs of consumers before they consumers themselves know what they want. Moment also stresses that his Foxconn factory and dorm facility is a single story structure and has no need for nets to keep people from jumping! We have happy employees working on our products! At least that is what FoxConn management assures us!)
(For the sunscreen Synactif Creme, a special 20% discount from the Bloomingdale's normal retail price of $1000 is being offered to show attendees. Financing applications will be available, subject to credit approval from Moment Finance, LLC)
“We are doing everything we can to help reduce the "alleged, so-called, rumored over-stated, "damaging" (in quotes) rays of the sun,” said a concert spokesperson. We have never discounted the Moment7 sun hats and shirts so dramatically until now. And sunscreen sponsor Synactif Creme is being extremely generous. They get this price of $1000 every day from NYC investment bankers and their wives who shop at Barney's or Bloomingdale's in New York City's Fifth Avenue. I hope fans appreciate our efforts. Fans get some Fifth Avenue Class right in the heart of California's Central Valley. You are welcome!”
GREEN KID-POWERED ELECTRICITY!
Further revolutionary green innovations planned: the air conditioning, sound equipment, stage lighting, hot tubs, saunas, high powered fans, and all other powered stage equipment will be powered directly in the greenest manner possible by a group of 300 local Modesto school children who will be riding bicycle electric generators! The kids will be pedaling an assembly of especially built electricity-generating bicycles wired in to the on stage electrical system. Any excess electrical power generated will be donated back to the "grid," with of course a corresponding reduction in facility rental fee and corresponding rebate back to the concert promoter - Live Nation - in a joint venture with Moment Music Productions, LLC).
This initiative is heralded as a great first step in the interrelated goals of environmental stewardship, combating childhood obesity, and giving at-risk youth “something to do.” The Modesto school kids will essentially be volunteers and will be working for class credit only - on their way to the goal of a GED before age 20 and before birth of their third child. The concert promoters, Live Nation (in a joint venture with Moment Music Productions, LLC), has secured a special child labor exemption for 501c(4) social benefit political non-profits that are subsidiaries of profit making shell corporations - a provision that was just enabled by a recent decision of the Roberts US Supreme Court, with Scalia, Kennedy, Thomas, Roberts, and Alito jointly writing the majority opinion.
Representatives from promoter Live Nation emphasized that the work that the kids perform in donating their time to generating this green electricity will help "build character." Furthermore, they emphasize that "to pay the kids in real money would simply send the wrong message to environmental activists everywhere," said a Live Nation spokeswoman.
“Hey, we’re in this together, said Moment. With the global warming crisis looming, there is no time for petty selfish profiteering. We must work together and all pitch in now and volunteer wherever we can! Come on people! Enough of the ‘me me me’ attitude already!”
BANDANAS ARE COOL!
The "green kid-powered" electricity will also power a series of large fans mounted on the front of the stage facing the audience to provide fresh air circulation. Because of aromatic concerns regarding the livestock pens located downwind from the back of the arena, large high powered industrial fans mounted on the front of the stage facing the audience will help keep out any wafting fecal or urine smells that might penetrate the Rodeo Grounds from the back of the arena. The concert promoter, Live Nation (in a joint venture with Moment Music Productions, LLC), cautions the audience that that the large high-powered fans facing the audience from the stage might end up stirring up some dust from the hard-packed dirt rodeos grounds. Luckily, bandanas and particular filtering masks will be on sale as a very fair price of $19.95 - 50% off from the normal Bloomingdales retail. So everyone should have a great time! Live Nation also suggests that attendees bring tarps or blankets if they wish to sit on the hard packed dirt, which still may contain some residual horse and cow pie material from past rodeo events. Live Nation makes this suggestion especially if any members of the audience happen to be allergic to horse and cow dung; if not then don't worry about it! Enjoy the show!
HYPOALLERGENIC CLEAR ON-STAGE TENT
To deliver the best possible sound to optimize the performance of their sensitive acoustic instruments and electronics, which could be damaged from the dust stirred up by fans, dirty air, and hot sun within the Melvin W. Cowpie, Jr. Memorial Rodeo Show Grounds, Derek Moment (and McCartney if he buys off on this idea) will perform from inside a special clear tent on stage. The tent will be air conditioned, humidified, dust-free and hypoallergenic. The clear tent will allow full views of the performance. In addition, a bank of large solar and bike-powered LED monitors will be stationed on the sides of the stage for better views from those in the back of the standing-room-only show, expected to fill the Rodeo Grounds with 40,000 people. (For sit down shows, the facility only accommodates 7,500 so things will get a bit crowded. Thank goodness for the roaming Big Gulp beverage carts selling 48 oz Cokes for only $9.95! Great price! Credit cards accepted!).
Meanwhile the crowd will enjoy the enriching warmth and Vitamin D goodness of the direct sun in the middle of the afternoon on dusty rodeo grounds in a hot Modesto day that typically averages 95 Degrees (F) in the Summer. To reduce the effects of the sun and dust and the fan-blown dust, aerial spraying helicopters from Modesto-based Central California Crop Dusters Inc. will fly overhead periodically at each show, dropping a gentle mist of water on the crowd, creating a cozy Hawaii-like virtual rainforest atmosphere. “We don’t believe that the relatively low 5% concentration of residual insecticides and fertilizers within the spray tanks that is left over from normal crop dusting activities should negatively affect any of our attendees,” said a concert spokeswoman. “But in case any "city slickers" and "overly sensitive weakling types - aka wussies" are overly sensitive to fertilizer and insecticide, we will have a medical tent staffed with LVN student trainees from the nearby junior college. They will be authorized to distribute both aspirin as well as over the counter Claritin and Benadryl at a discounted price, to reduce any possible brain swellings and allergic reactions caused by the helicopter rain forest misters/ crop dusters / and circulating dust. "Of course if you are a real man or real woman, you won't need any of that wussy sissy medicine," said the spokeswoman dressed in famous Modesto ("MoTown") farmer overalls, a camouflage jacket, steel toed army boots, and sporting a very short closely cropped platinum blond haircut, with multiple nose, lip, ear, tongue, and eyebrow piercings and both arms sleeved with tattoos.
CONNECTING WITH THE AUDIENCE
Said Moment: “We really would prefer to also be outdoors to really and truly share the experience with our fans... you know, connecting with the crowd directly, being with the people.” Moment was talking via SKYPE from within his personal hyperbaric chamber inside his Gulfstream private jet.
Sipping from a bottle of Reykjavik Icelandic Distilled Glacial Water which he has flown in weekly, Moment continued: “But in order to deliver the best possible sound for our audience and to protect our equipment - particularly my custom Gibson EDS-1275 white double-necks and my Taylor and Martin and Takamine custom acoustics and my custom Rickenbackers and Les Pauls and Telecasters and particularly my collectable vintage guitars - we simply have no choice but to perform within that air conditioned hypoallergenic clear tent. Further, because of the stress of touring, we must continue to haul the hyperbaric chamber, three variable temperature hot tubs, a cold plunge, portable dry sauna, steam rooms and showers - all powered by natural gas and propane - from show to show with our fleet of big rigs. These items are a necessity to ensure high quality shows so that our fans get the best entertainment possible. And by the way, I really do resent the media calling these items a frivolous luxury.”
Moment did point out that despite the powering of the spa equipment by propane and natural gas, that 10% of the fuel use by the big rigs is indeed comprised of eco-conscious bio diesel fuel. The "bio diesel" fuel - i.e. grease - is being generated from the grills and frying wells of Moment's Burger King franchises in Nevada, New Mexico, and Arizona.
HELPING TO STAMP OUT THE DIABETES VIRUS
“Show Sponsor Burger King will be the exclusive caterers for the concert," Moment enthused. "And though I personally detest factory farming and the effect that beef cattle has on the environment, who am I to deny our good American customers their constitutionally protected right to eat all the cheeseburgers they can stuff into their happy fat angelic faces? Let Freedom ring! We want attendees to have a good time! Hey this is the American way. Similarly, who am I to deny them their right to drink as many Big Gulp 48 oz Tubs of Coca Cola as they possibly can at the show? Hey it is not my fault that obesity and diabetes is epidemic in this country. Diet and lifestyle has nothing to do with it. Obesity and diabetes is a genetic issue and is like a virus; if your mom was fat and had diabetes and if you hang out with people with diabetes, then watch out, you may catch it. It is very contagious, from what I understand. Perhaps you should wear a mask to protect you from the diabetes virus - I don't know... scientists I think are still researching the cause of diabetes. Probably a virus that started in China or South America or Africa. More research is needed. Anyway, we just hope a preventive diabetes vaccination is developed soon! Meanwhile, keep cool with another 48 oz Big Gulp of Coke, available from strolling Hooters girls pushing food and drink carts. And please tip your waitresses! We have them under the "volunteer" exemption also, so they are relying on the customer for their income that day! Be generous, please!"
To motivate those children showing any signs of faltering in the hot midday sun, the audience has been supplied with fun “motivators” like tomatoes, potatoes, and other “throwables” to help inspire the kids and to help show them the value of hard work.
All kids who complete the “green fun ride” as it is called will get gold stars and full credit, along with the grade of “A”, for their “Green Air Conditioning 4-H science project” that demonstrates the ability to power large concert equipment and air conditioners and stage fans and personal food refrigeration units used by the performers and stage crew, for the entire 2 1/2 hour show.
As Moment said: “This will be a great form of exercise for these young kids and as mentioned earlier will be a great way to give these at-risk youth “something to do. Plus they'll be getting credit towards their GED. It is a 'win-win' situation for all here!”
DEREK MOMENT & MOMENT7
DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7
*LIST OF ALBUMS AND SONG TITLES*